31-Day Devotional

Hello Everyone! I know it’s been a while but I’ve been preparing something that is beyond my wildest dreams. I have created my very own 31-day devotional called, The S(on)s Summer Affection. I would love for you all to complete it throughout the month of May.

God has blessed me tremendously to be able to do this, and trust when I say it’s none of me but all of Him. I pray that He truly shines through this devotional and that you see the pureness of Him in every word. God wants to do something amazing going into this upcoming season and in order to receive it, we must be in position.

I love you all. Be blessed!

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Echoes of an empty room

A few weeks ago I was sitting in my room listening to a small sermon on Instagram live. I happen to be doing laundry and decided to get up to go check on my clothes. As I began walking through the house, all of a sudden the speaker on Instagram can be heard reverberating throughout the foyer. I paused for a second and thought to myself, how weird was that, but I shrugged it off and continued on to the laundry room. Moments later, God put the answer in my spirit. How can you hear God when your life is constantly cluttered with garbage? Now, don’t think that my room is cluttered with garbage, but I do have the normal furniture pieces, a bed, dresser, tv stand, night stands and a lamp, but the foyer simply has a small table located near the front door.

The Bible says, “Therefore we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.” Hebrews 12:1-2

I began pondering on this and it dawned on me, this is so true and applicable for many of us as believers. Our lives are cluttered with garbage and weights that we aren’t willing to lay aside, from the television shows that we watch to the people in our lives. A few years ago I stopped watching Scandal, Love & Hip Hop and a bunch of other shows. Of course I had my own convictions but let’s be honest, a lot of what these shows drop in our spirits isn’t conducive to a healthy spiritual life or relationship with Christ. I one day desire to have a husband but I think it’s okay for another woman to sleep with someone else’s, I want to be an example unto other young women but I can support another degrading herself, how does that work?

Music also has a huge affect on our spirits, our emotions and our life styles. There have been studies that prove this. “Those who listen to heavy metal and rap have higher rates of delinquent activity, such as drug and alcohol use, poor school grades, arrest, sexual activity, and behavior problems than those who prefer other types. They are also more likely to be depressed, think suicidal thoughts, inflict self-harm, and to have dysfunctional families,” (Kent, 2006). Now I won’t act holier than thou and act as if I don’t still like ratchet songs from time to time, but I’m very aware of the words being disseminated and the message being sent. However, many of us don’t have that discernment. Now, one artist I DO NOT, by any means, like is the artist Future. I know over the past couple of years he has blown up among audiences around the country. He even went on tour with Drake this past year. People always ask, “why don’t you like him?” Well here’s my honest answer, I think his music perpetrates and promotes nothing but drugs, sex and foolery. The same guy who says that God is blessin’ all the trap n*ggas. Seriously sir, how dare you associate God’s name and character with such activities? Moreover, Future’s music is filled with the exact same spirits he’s battling; ones I’m not willing to freely let into my life.

As it says in the bible verse above, these are weights that so easily ensnare us, they come in unexpectedly and undetected. You may not be attuned to the practices of the enemy but the Word tells us, “The thief comes o steal, kill and destroy….” John 10:10 The thief is the enemy, the devil. His intentions are to come in and disrupt your life through every open portal and it just so happens, these are some of the most accessible avenues.

Proverbs 4: 25-27 says, “Let your eyes look directly forward, and your gaze be straight before you. Ponder the path of your feet; then all your ways will be sure. Do not swerve to the right or to the left; turn your foot away from evil.”

Be aware of these shows and music that has access to your life. You may not think it affects you but seeds are being planted and if watered, they can manifest into you life. That’s why we are to ponder or think carefully about the path of our feet.

Family, friends and relationships can carry the most baggage. Y’all know the baggage I’m talking about too. The friend that always has baby daddy issues, the family members that want to tell you how to live your life but can’t never keep a job or has a new boyfriend or girlfriend every other month, and the relationships where he wants all the wife qualifications but he still has yet to mention marriage.

Ecclesiastes 3:1, 6

To everything there is a season,

A time for every purpose under heaven

A time to seek, and a time to lose;

a time to keep, and a time to cast away;

People come with different baggage for various reasons but it’s not our job to judge them or try to fix it. However, we must steer clear of it so as to not let it seep into the delicate parts of our lives that we’re still working on. God is the ultimate fixer! I do encourage you that as believers it is our duty to pray for these people and somehow separate from the baggage. It doesn’t make you somehow better than them but it’s about the journey God has set before you and everyone doesn’t need to come along.

Last sin I want to address that ensnares us is masturbation and porn. I personally believe the two go hand in hand, which is why I have coupled the two together. Sis, if this is you, STOP immediately. I’ve been there, done that. The doors and portals that you are opening to the enemy are astronomical. These demons and satanic spirits not only affect you physically, but emotionally and spiritually as well. 1 Thessalonians 4:3-5 says, “For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality; that each one of you know how to control his own body in holiness and honor, not in the passion of lust like the Gentiles who do not know God;” Masturbation is not only defiling God’s temple but you’re also sinning against yourself. “Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body,” according to 1 Corinthians 6:18. I used to think doing it here and there, in which I would also watch porn, was okay. But little did I know how the enemy was using that to his advantage. I began dealing with a spirit I hadn’t exposed myself to or so I thought. I reached out to my spiritual mentor and we began talking and I was immediately convicted about where this spirit had entered. It was conceived through my time of masturbation and I’d let it in with open arms. Honestly, it was overwhelming to say the least at first because I couldn’t believe how I’d been so blind to the schemes of the enemy and how I’d let myself fall victim to the lies.

The devil is the father of lies, he’s always on the prowl searching for whom he may devour and Word tells us this very thing. However, we serve a mighty, just, loving, and forgiving God. 1 John 1:9 says. “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”

You must acknowledge your sin and repent. Don’t say you want to repent and God delivers you, then you go right back to your same filth. Don’t do it sis. Desperately seek God for deliverance from this and NEVER go back. Jesus died on the cross for us to be forgiven. There is no condemnation in Christ.

I never write about things that haven’t personally affected me, so I want you to know that I’m praying for you. Don’t ever let the enemy make you feel guilty or shameful for your sin. We’ve all sinned and come short of the glory of God but by His stripes we are healed!

I pray this blog post helps someone to be delivered in some way or another from the weights and sins that so easily ensnare us. Be encouraged and know that Christ loves you!

Uber Chicago

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For the past week, I’ve been in Chicago, IL on vacation, pictures will be uploaded soon, and my Uber driver from my hotel to O’hare Airport was a super nice guy named Elrick. During my hour ride with Elrick we really connected. I was able to impart much of my relationship (man and woman) expertise into his life as he expressed several issues that he and his girlfriend have been experiencing.

However, as I was doing so, it struck me. How many of us have found ourselves unwilling to walk away from a relationship because of the time we’ve invested, the thought of not finding anyone better or just plain ole, “I’m in love, so I don’t want to leave him even though he person doesn’t treat me good”? Now my blog by no means is meant to give relationship advice, but I do realize that some of us may be in a relationship and/or desiring a relationship and this blog post may resonate with you the most.

Relationships are a two way street. They have the ability to enhance or devalue you. In my pursuit of a Christ-like mindset, one thing has to be at the forefront of all relationships, “Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?” 2 Corinthians 6:14

Now this sets the precedent for any relationship that I find myself entering into. I cannot see a future with a man that is a non-believer. Why, because I am rooted in my faith, which is true according to the Word of God. Additionally, one’s faith or lack thereof often lays the foundational groundwork for their morals, beliefs and processes in handling certain situations. I personally want to know that God is at the front of their life.

Now, if you’ve read my other blogs then you know that I’m not a virgin. However, practicing celibacy is an important part of my onward journey in Christ. “For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you should abstain from sexual immorality; that each of you should know how to possess his own vessel in sanctification and honor, not in passion of lust, like the Gentiles who do not know God;” I Thessalonians 4:3-5

Your body is a temple and should be treated as so! Don’t allow any man to make you feel otherwise and influence you to defile your body. A man that doesn’t respect you and/or your willingness to abstain from sex until marriage just isn’t courting or marriage material. People in today’s society often regurgitate the idea that a person cannot go for an extended period of time without sex, specifically men. Well, this is a lie from the pits of hell. It’s nothing but a spirit and a lack of self-discipline! Of course when you’re constantly in tempting situations it can be difficult, but that’s why we have to use our earnest discernment, exercised through the Holy Spirit. “But solid food is for full-grown men, for those whose senses and mental faculties are trained by practice to discriminate and distinguish between what is morally good and noble and what is evil and contrary either to divine or human law.” Hebrews 5:14

You KNOW when you shouldn’t be doing something. If you’re seeking to truly live for Christ, being in a predicament that can lead to sexual immorality, you’ll quickly look for a way out. I will not say that a man who’s desired and tried to have sex with you isn’t the one or doesn’t care about you, but your expectations should be made very clear from the beginning. If you make this clear to him and he persist in trying to have sex, he probably doesn’t care about you! He should be let go of! You can’t afford to be setback in your walk with Christ. There are consequences for those actions. I know firsthand. I’ve been celibate and living for Christ then I got caught up and regretted it, because I know what is pleasing and acceptable unto God.

Love, such a beautiful thing. When we truly understand what love is and who love is, I think that makes it easier for us to love others. Love for others does not and should not come with conditions. Has God loved you under condition? No, because if so, there is nothing about any of us that would warrant His love. When in a relationship we should keep this in mind. There are days you won’t necessarily like the person you’re with, but that should not affect the love and willingness to put in the effort. Relationships require serious work! 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 says, Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

Keep these things in mind when entering into a courtship. Don’t be in a relationship that’s unequally yoked, sustain from sex and love unconditionally. Relationships can be a beautiful thing. However, the wrong relationship can also be detrimental. Today,  don’t be so caught up in a relationship that you lose sight of God. If the guy that you’re with doesn’t push you further to Christ, He’s probably not the one for you.

For my single ladies, sometimes it’s easier said than done but don’t be overcome by thoughts of getting old or even the lie that you’re not worthy of a good man. Realize that God’s timing is perfect. Sometimes I have to remind myself that my desire for a husband should never outweigh my desire for God. Furthermore, just because those all around me seem to be getting married or dating the guy of their dreams, that’s just not my story right now. I should be happy where God has me. Rushing into a relationship can cause it to fall apart just as fast.

Be blessed today on Valentine’s Day and know that I love you all and so does God.

Deciding Now

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Making the decision to get saved and become a true believer in Christ is a milestone many are reluctant to come too. From experience, people feel way too broken, unusable and and ineffective to become a “christian.” However, they had failed to realize that Christ hasn’t called you too perfection but yet vulnerable enough to come to Him exactly as you are. Truth is, He already knows you’re a hot mess. He knows when and how you were wounded, why you continue to sin the way you do and why you’re even considering to surrender your life to Christ. You see, the life you’ve been given was meant for divine purpose. You may not believe that but it’s true. The Lord has called us to something higher and where you currently are doesn’t fit.

I wish I could help you make sense of the things that have happened throughout your life or even find understanding in it, but I don’t have the answers. But you know who does, Christ! The Bible says, “Though He slay me, yet will I trust Him. Even so, I will defend my own ways before Him.” Job 13:15 This is the mindset that we have to have. Life isn’t guaranteed to be a smooth ride but God has promised us that, “These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world.” The Lord has already overcome any problem or giant standing in your way. Everything you need to overcome is already within you!

Don’t get stuck in today’s troubles that tomorrow is but a figment. Give your life over to Christ today. Come just as you are.13 For “whoever calls on the name of the Lord shall be saved.” Romans 10:13 I came to Him broken, depressed, rejected, confused, etc. Don’t worry about those desires and hurts, He can and will heal you. He can change your desires and truly forgive you if you come with a willing and sincere heart. Paul was of the least of us to become a follower of Christ, but look how God used him for His glory. God has transformative power. Acts chp. 9 for reference

In my words, God is willing to step in the paint with you, He’s willing to go to battle for and with you, but only if you just let Him in. It took a long time for me to truly find God. I looked for satisfaction and fulfillment in worldly things for so long that when my mind could no longer take it, I went into a deep hole only God could bring me out of. A hole so deep that I thought I might die. I’d struggled with so many things because of things that have happened in my life; things within my control and things totally out of my control. But one thing for certain, God has never left my side. I’m forever indebted. I’m so grateful I decided to give my life over.

It’d been a long time coming and it’s honestly refreshing to know that when I go through the struggles of life, I have a friend and confidant there beside me. Some days aren’t easy no doubt but it’s worth it. Don’t be afraid to come as you are. His hand is reaching out to you. Pour your heart out and be honest with God. He can help you with that unbelief, lack of faith, sexual sins, broken relationships or whatever it may be.

He’s kept me when I couldn’t keep myself, He’s loved me when I couldn’t love myself and He’s believed in me when I couldn’t believe in myself. He’ll do the exact same for you! Please reach out if you have questions or you’re wondering what steps you have to take to surrender your life. I’m praying for you all!

Disobedience, yeah it cost

Since beginning this blog, it has helped me to get free from some of the things I’ve been battling or even bringing some of them to light. But I realize that by trying to help others get free, the enemy is bringing much resistance. He’s like a spiteful ex that tries to throw all your past mistakes in your face. Better yet, he’s like the ex that tells you, “no one will ever love you like I do,” all while having been emotional and mentally abusive since you let your guard down. The nerve!

There have been days I’ve felt so heavy spirited and I just wanted to give up. In those times I literally have to speak over myself and lay hands on myself just to make it through the day! I’m so thankful to have people in my life that can not only speak a word into my life but are real prayer warriors. I know some days if it weren’t for them, I don’t know where exactly I’d be.

Moving into this year I was battling anxiety on a whole other level. The enemy was attacking my mind in such a way that I forgot how to fight for a moment. However, that eventually subsided through prayer and revelation. But you know when you rid yourself of one spirit is comes back with more following suit. Currently, I’m battling a spirit of inadequacy, uncertainty, confusion and loneliness. For me, I believe I gave the enemy a door to come and disrupt my life; disobedience! Blatant disobedience on my part, although, I believe there are some other factors. Disobedience to me is knowingly acting out of the will of God and committing sin, which can bring curses, ailments and even death.

The LORD will send on you curses, confusion and rebuke in everything you put your hand to, until you are destroyed and come to sudden ruin because of the evil you have done in forsaking him. Deuteronomy 28:20

We can’t just disobey God and think that there are no consequences for our actions. Who are we to think so highly of ourselves? To be honest, we aren’t much of anything without God! My good friend and prayer partner Chelsea revealed that verse to me and my God did it speak to me. I was sitting there racking my brain trying to figure out where this attack came from. But, there it was, right there in the Bible.

16 I say then: Walk in the Spirit, and you shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh. 17 For the flesh lusts against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh; and these are contrary to one another, so that you do not do the things that you wish. 18 But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law. 24 And those who are Christ’s have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. 25 If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit. 26 Let us not become conceited, provoking one another, envying one another. Galatians 5: 16-18, 24,25

I think it’s important to be aware of temptations that may come our way. Don’t be so quickly led by your flesh that you can’t resist the wiles of the devil. The Holy Spirit is your guide. We have to constantly die to our flesh, if not, we find ourselves sinking deeper into sin. Sin causes a rift or divide between us and God. He cannot inhabitant where darkness also resides. The Lord is our sustainer and there is never not a moment when he hasn’t made provision to get out of our sin.

Don’t suffer because of blatant sin and disobedience. Ask God for his forgiveness and earnestly repent for your sin. Don’t turn back to your sinful ways and be sincere in your repentance. You don’t have to live up under the curse of sin but yet you can live through Christ’s freedom. Seek Him today and be freed from your sin and lusts of the flesh. It may not be easy but it will definitely be worth it. Salvation, freedom and grace are before you. I encourage you to take a hold of it today!

Please let me know if you need prayers for anything.

If I could just touch the hem!

I was literally driving tonight, and the title of this blog popped into my head as I was praying for someone. The title is so powerful because in Mark chapter 5, a woman with a sickness of the blood touches the hem of Jesus’ garment and she’s immediately healed. However, that’s not even the best part. Jesus hadn’t even known that the woman touched Him, but he felt some of His power had gone. He began inquiring of His disciples as to whom had touched his garment, which He then finds is the woman with the sickness of blood. “And He said to her, “Daughter, your faith has made you well. Go in peace, and be healed of your affliction.”” Mark‬ ‭5:34

This is a great segway into our topic of the evening, promiscuity. I know you’re wondering well what does this have to do with the woman with the sickness of blood? Well, her yearning to be healed from her sickness, which was manifested through her faith!So many woman have resorted to promiscuity as a means to fulfill emptiness, feel loved and to boost self-esteem. Sadly, promiscuity brings none of these hoped for attributes. As always, I write about issues that either afflict me or have once afflicted me. Although, promiscuity is no longer something I struggle with, temptation and even lust are things I’m still working on.

It was Fall of 2011 and I’d just broken up with my abusive boyfriend (that’s a story for another day) and I’d decided that I’d use my junior year making up for lost time. Being tied down to one person for the past two years who not only controlled me but caused me to miss a significant portion of my college years, was the only fuel I needed to live it up. Not realizing that I was broken and unequipped to have successful relationships, I still desired one or a piece of one. Over the next couple of years the guys would come and go, however, three were consistently inconsistently. Promiscuity had established its place in my life. I slept with different guys and carried on situationships in hopes of them one day becoming relationships. I remained single throughout my junior and senior year of college. My promiscuity revealed my low-self esteem and search to fill voids only God could fill.

I felt empty, I felt numb and I felt lonely. I was in search of something, fulfillment most of all, not even aware that it comes through Christ alone. Christ would have even solidified His role as the man in my life had I let Him. I’d opened the door to lust, temptation, sexual perversion, fornication and even masturbation. But the Bible tells us, “Flee sexual immorality. Every sin that a man does is outside the body, but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body.” 1 Corinthians‬ ‭6:18‬ ‭Nevertheless, these things kept me in bondage and not once did I ever think of myself as promiscuous. The craziest part about it all, the girls I hung with in college weren’t even having sex, but me, I was proud to be the non-virgin.

You see the issue with promiscuity isn’t just the sex itself, it’s the consequences of sex outside of marriage. Aside from from the physical consequences of STD’s and out of wedlock pregnancies, the emotional, mental and spiritual affects can far outweigh the physical. Every time you lay down with someone outside of marriage, you create soul ties; the person takes apart of you in which you can never get back. “Or do you not know that he who is joined to a harlot is one body with her? For “the two,” He says, “shall become one flesh.”” 1 Corinthians‬ ‭6:16‬ The worst part is the exchange of unclean spirits. You don’t know what other individuals these guys have slept with, nor do you know what things they may be dealing with internally. ““When an unclean spirit goes out of a man, he goes through dry places, seeking rest, and finds none. Then he says, ‘I will return to my house from which I came.’ And when he comes, he finds it empty, swept, and put in order. Then he goes and takes with him seven other spirits more wicked than himself, and they enter and dwell there; and the last state of that man is worse than the first. So shall it also be with this wicked generation.”” Matthew‬ ‭12:43-45‬ 

All of these things, I’ve dealt with. Trying to break soul ties and figure out why I’m dealing with issues than never presented themselves a problem in the past were definitely the hardest. To be honest, still are the hardest things I deal with from opening doors to many of these issues. Had I known the things I know now, I would have saved myself for my future husband. It would have saved me so much heartache and pain. It’s honestly one of the things in my life that made me feel the most shameful. I used to think, how would I tell my future husband about this? How would he react? You know what God revealed to me, the man He has ordained to be my husband won’t be caught up in my past because he knows he’s apart of my future. 

If you’re dealing with any of this, I encourage you to seek God for deliverance. Don’t get caught up in what you think people might say. The Bible says, “Let the redeemed of the LORD say so, Whom He has redeemed from the hand of the enemy,” Psalms‬ ‭107:2‬ There is no condemnation in Christ. He wants to heal us and redeem us. You no longer have to broken. You no longer have to give your body to different men based on “you like them” or they like you! Marriage is the standard and requirement for sex. It’s so hard to know someone on an intimate level when you’ve opened a gateway to fornication. It’s hard to separate emotions once sex is involved. It’s also harder to let someone go once sex is involved.

Step out on faith and trust God. If only you could touch the hem of His garment. No more longing to be loved, no more longing to fill voids, no more esteem issues, NO MORE! I’m not promising the walk will be easy or that it will even be a speedy process, but what I can promise you is that God sees your suffering and wants to give you peace. He’ll be with you every step of the way. If temptation comes again, He always gives us away out. “No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man; but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it.” 1 Corinthians‬ ‭10:13‬

I’m open to discussion or if you want to contact me personally to talk or even want me to pray for you, please let me know. There’s power in the name of Jesus. I’m hoping that my story will only be the beginning of a new start.

Don’t Settle

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Do you know how often people say, “don’t settle”? I hear it so much that I feel like it’s just a reflex connotation used to dissuade people from doubt. I personally think the phrase has become so convoluted that people become confused as to whether they’re settling, within God’s will or shooting their shot a little too high.

Now to start this thing off correctly, I think we should define the meaning of settling. Settling means to sit or come to rest in a comfortable position; begin to feel comfortable or established. In my honest opinion, people have confused settling with contentment in one’s portion. Philippians‬ ‭4:11-12‬ ‭says, “Not that I speak in regard to need, for I have learned in whatever state I am, to be content: I know how to be abased, and I know how to abound. Everywhere and in all things I have learned both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need.” I didn’t say it, but the Apostle Paul did, he learned to be content in whatever state! Why is it that we feel the need for more, but that need for more isn’t what’s going to spiritually edify us, benefit the body of Christ or contribute to our kingdom assignment.

Hear me loud and clear, there is nothing wrong with having dreams, goals and desires, because trust I have a list a mile long. LOL. But there is something wrong with desiring and dreaming for all the wrong reasons. But even with that, there will always be a development phase and a molding process. People don’t just wake up one day and become successful business owners, become married, become the next Lebron James or even become ministers. The Prophet Jeremiah speaks of this very process of development in Jeremiah chapter 18. He’s instructed by God to go down to the potter’s house where he sees the potter creating vessels. ““O house of Israel, can I not do with you as this potter?” says the LORD. “Look, as the clay is in the potter’s hand, so are you in My hand, O house of Israel!” Jeremiah‬ ‭18:6‬

God realizes we’re invaluable pieces of clay without Him. We can’t live our lives focused on, “don’t settle,” or trying to appease those around us who’ve assumed we have settled. Seeking Godly counsel is so important. You shouldn’t have people speaking into and about your life that don’t truly know you, where you are currently in life, where you’re seeking to go in life and most importantly, are they speaking a word from God? I know sometimes it’s hard to consider these things when you began speaking to others about your life, because I too struggle with this. I’ve realized lately that God has been checking me. I get this conviction in my spirit like, whatever I’ve spoken over your life isn’t for the whole world to know, let them see the manifestation of me!

“Hear counsel, and receive instruction, that thou mayest be wise in thy latter end. There are many devices in a man’s heart; nevertheless the counsel of the Lord, that shall stand.” Proverbs‬ ‭19:20-21‬ ‭- This is why you can’t go around listening to every Lisa, Chris and Mark!

Essentially, I don’t want any of you ladies to settle! But I also don’t want you feel compelled to move out of the position God currently has you, therefore, resetting whatever work He has began and pushing your blessing back. Don’t get wrapped up in what people may say or even think, get wrapped up in the counsel of our Lord.

I feel strongly about this topic. Since quitting my full time job and working part-time for the past few months, I feel like everyone around me has put in their mind that I’m settling and that it’s a shame I am where I am. I’d be a lie if I said it didn’t bother me to hear how some of my own family members have talked about me as if I’m a failure. However, I don’t feel the need to take the time out to explain anything to them either. God hasn’t given me that conviction and I’m perfectly fine with that. I’m trusting God with my future because He’s the one that holds it anyway. Lauren Daigle says in her song Trust in You, “There’s not a day ahead You have not seen.” How powerful is that?

Speaking from the perspective of someone that’s in their 20’s, these years can be rough and many of us are just trying to figure it out. Your journey won’t be like others but it will be your own. Embrace that and remember, “… let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not.” Galatians‬ ‭6:9‬

Let me know if you have questions or any feedback. Know that I love you and I’m praying for you!!

But I’m All Alone

I heard this the other day and it spoke volumes to me, “separation is a sure sign of elevation.”

Several months ago, I felt a tugging at my heart to relinquish the “reverence” I’d placed on certain relationships in my life. Honestly, I was reluctant to give it a try. I mean, who would I talk too, who would I confide in, who would simply be there? However, questioning God doesn’t get anyone much of anywhere, so I followed my heart.

For me, I finally left the guy I’d been on and off with for the past three and half years. Truly one of my best friends who knows more about me than most. It broke my heart to know that I finally had to let him go. At one point, I found so much solace, peace and certainty in just talking to him. Nonetheless, in the end those feelings had begun waning away.

Furthermore, my best friends started hearing from me less and eventually that led to them seeing me less. Seemingly, I fell out of the best friend circle, which I sensed happening anyways. There were no hard feelings as I realized we’re in different places in our lives. There are things mutually we didn’t and don’t confide in one another about anymore, as there are also struggles and joys I’ve experienced without them. And hear me when  say this, I would love for them to have shared and share in some of these moments but I also know that obedience to God comes before any desire and emotion!

The past few months have felt lonelier than ever. I’ve seriously wondered if God has forgotten my needs of someone to talk too or to even hang out with on occasion. All my life I’ve been in relationships and I’ve had the same few friends. I haven’t acquired much more over the years as I felt it pointless. But, you can imagine my current thoughts on that. LOL.

But, I did a little “soul searching” and it finally came to me. We have to realize that whatever God does, is always for our good. He never takes anything without having something to replace it. The Holy Spirit never gives us a conviction that leads us wrong and that is why trusting God’s plan is so important. Some people, places and things are there for a reason and a season, and sometimes, they simply can’t go where God is taking you. 1 John 2:19 says, “They went out from us, but they were not of us; for if they had been of us, they would no doubt have continued with us: but they went out, that they might be made manifest that they were not all of us.” (KJV).

When God begins to take you to new levels in Him and He has lessons and things that He needs to impart into you, all distractions and hinderances have to be removed. Imagine this, Jesus literally wanting to walk with you, side by side, on this new journey, whatever it is you’re going. However, you’re so caught up in the people and things that you think should be with you, that you miss Him and what it is He’s trying to give to you. That’s exactly what happen to the two individuals in Luke chapter 24. Jesus was literally walking and talking with them, and because their eyes and hearts were filled with sorrow and unbelief, they missed that moment of really being with Jesus. They had not trusted that Jesus was who He said He was.

This brings me back to my original quote, “separation is a sure sign of elevation.” Let God do what he does, especially in this season. Don’t worry about what people think of you or even what they have to say. Don’t let a blessing become held up because you can’t get past “lonely.” Jesus will always be a friend indeed. He is always there with us no matter how we may feel. Maybe spending more time with Him will help those feelings of loneliness to eventually subside over time. I’m not saying you can’t desire friendships and companionship but understand that God is trying to do some amazing things in your life and if you just let Him, what’s on the other side will be far greater than you could envision. 1 Corinthians 2:9 “Eye has not seen, nor ear heard, Nor have entered into the heart of man, The things which God has prepared for those who love Him.” (NKJV)

Ladies, ladies, ladies…

This blog is more so generalized. I didn’t have a biblical perspective but I was speaking from one concerned sista to another. I want to elevate and bring life to women who want to know someone cares and I most certainly do!

I’m all for wearing what makes you feel comfortable and beautiful, but some clothing is borderline nude and plain ole ridiculous. To add insult to injury, we have women with the audacity to complain about how men approach them. In NO WAY am I condoning a man touching a woman without her consent or even being disrespectful. However, I am bringing to light the way in which women carry themselves negatively with the expectation of a positive ROI. I’m a firm believer that you attract what you put out. Don’t expect a wholesome mama’s boy and the whole instagram can see what ya mama gave ya! I think it’s important to realize that what you display attracts a certain type of guy.

Personally, I believe women who consistently wear revealing clothing have low self-esteem. I don’t say that to be mean but I say that to bring realization to the fact that there are women suffering with simply being comfortable with who they are. They think by attracting a certain guy, it will somehow increase their capacity for confidence and they’ll be more desirable. No, it doesn’t work like that. If you can get a man with barely any clothes and a beat face, well huney, you haven’t done much. Men will categorize the type of woman you are based on what you wear, which is why it’s important to be mindful of this. My guy friends have told me how beautiful they think some women are, but wouldn’t dare consider taking them serious because of how they carry themselves.

The older I get, the least likely I am to wear fitted clothing. Now for me this is a personal preference. I’m a curvy woman with hips and butt. Ladies, keep in mind that all of our bodies are different and beautiful. Don’t put others down because of their body, but rather elevate them and suggest clothing that would be fitting for their body type.

This is not a competition, nor should we make it one. Who are you trying to impress? If they aren’t impressed with the person you truly are, trust that your clothing won’t make much of an impression either. I can name several successful relationships and clothing looks to be a defining factor in my eyes. Look at the quality of guy each of these women snagged. Barack and Michelle Obama, Denzel and Paulette Washington, Tia Mowry and Cory Hardrict, Sarah Jakes and Toure Roberts, Aisha and Steph Curry. Do you see a trend? Dress for success!

I’m not telling you to not be fashionable and stylish, however, I am saying that you can still “slay” while being beautifully presented in clothing that covers and properly fits you. When I say covered I don’t mean long sleeve shirts and long ankle skirts either. Be you! Still shop at your favorite stores, but away with the cut outs, see-through dresses, skirts and tights, booty shorts, drop top shirts so low we see your belly button and the body con dresses we know you can’t breathe in because of the girdle two sizes too small under there. Leave that mess in 2016!

Let’s be aware in 2017. Aware of how we are presenting ourselves and aware of what we are attracting. I would encourage some of you to even follow some individuals on social media that aren’t seeking likes on social based on the amount of skin they can show, but rather have platforms where they seek to give young a foundation on which to dress professionally, fashionably and fitting for them. Below I have provided images of do’s and don’ts of fashion in 2017! Let me know if you have questions or even tips on what to wear.

DON’Ts

DO’s

Everyone seems to be propelling forward but me…


When I turned 25 in January of 2016, I had hoped to be in my dream career with a fine husband by my side. However, my life didn’t quite look like that. I was working at a mundane, mediocre job, unhappy with my pay and single as a dollar! All around me and on social media it felt like everyone had in someway moved on to the next phase of life, great career, engaged or married, starting families, traveling the world, etc. I mean, I’ve done some traveling over the years but not world travels, and the rest just weren’t even in my sights.

I began to look at my life and think, what a disappointment. All the years of college, all the failed relationships, all the hard-work, all the sacrifices and the amount of obedience I’d submitted to God. How could he not have known my heart, my prayers? Or so I thought. It was frustrating and I began letting my emotions control my thoughts. I began to doubt God, and had even considered that he’d probably forgotten about me because of all my wrongdoings over the years. That was my flesh speaking. When we become saved and we truly repent for our sins, they’re forgotten. God no longer lingers on past sins, nor is there condemnation in Christ. When shame and regret begin to creep in, it’s not of God. He may convict us but never shame us. It’s a ploy of the enemy to make you question God and even worse, turn from His Word altogether. 

As I began to ponder a little bit more on my life and the thought of where I was, God began to reveal things to me. God does not work on our timing nor does he work in our realm of understanding. You see, had I been in my Word a little more, I would’ve known to, “Be of good courage, And He shall strengthen your heart, All you who hope in the LORD.” ‭‭Psalms‬ ‭31:24‬
We cannot compare our lives to that of others. Your journey is not theirs and your testimony is not theirs. Be happy with your portion! Know that the race set before you is yours alone, which is why you cannot relish in and envy another’s accomplished life phases! The Bible tells us, “…let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us,” ‭‭Hebrews‬ ‭12:1‬

Stop holding onto where you think your life should be. Quite honestly, it’s exactly where God knew you’d be. When he’s planning a great blessing for you, it takes great preparation! “But as it is written: “Eye has not seen, nor ear heard, Nor have entered into the heart of man The things which God has prepared for those who love Him.” ‭‭I Corinthians‬ ‭2:9‬

Are you letting Him prepare you? Is your heart positioned correctly? Do you want what you see just because you think everyone else has it? I myself had to realize that photographs on social media are literally captured moments in time. Majority of people only put what they want you to see; their best!! 

Coming to an end in 2016 I’ve learned so much and the Lord has truly imparted into some amazing things in me, which I’m sure he plans to continue in 2017. Although, I’m currently working part-time and on the verge of 26, I remain confident in knowing that God has my future in his hands. In the times I feel like I’m stagnant, discouraged and unfruitful in my harvest, I remember what the Lord has declared, “Behold, I will do a new thing; now it shall spring forth; shall ye not know it? I will even make a way in the wilderness, and rivers in the desert.” ‭‭Isaiah‬ ‭43:19‬

Trust that if it’s not okay, the Lord is not yet done! He preparing to create rivers in your wilderness ladies! Don’t get caught up in the future so much that you miss what he’s trying to do now! Wouldn’t it be a shame to miss God in this season because you were so caught up and didn’t stop for a moment to realize him? Don’t be those people in Luke chapter 24. Be open to Him and keep your faith no matter what it looks like. We walk by faith and not by sight. Rest assured in that!!